What are the major toxic traits you should be wary of in a relationship? This blog highlights six major toxic traits which you should be watchful of.
As human beings, we all carry some toxic traits, some are based on childhood trauma and many are self-inflicted traumas. Relationships are a crucial part of our lives. We often ignore several red flags and land up messing with our mental health. A healthy relationship comes with a lot of inner work from both ends, but an unhealthy one may come from either of the partners and lands up affecting both of them in several ways. Let’s have a look into six severe toxic traits in a relationship that you should be aware of -
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Narcissistic Abuse Pattern -
A relationship in which you are constantly blamed no matter whose fault it is. A relationship where you are the one who is constantly taking the effort and your significant other doesn’t even appreciate your efforts instead haunts you mentally even more. Such relationships have narcissistic abuse patterns. Here, your partner thinks that you are responsible for his/her happiness and should always focus on them.
They don’t value your personal life, emotional state or even your hobbies. They try to mould you in ways which aren’t healthy. And when you try to communicate this, they throw a tantrum and blame it all on you. Such patterns are wildly infectious and harm you in several ways — to mention one, you will slowly start hating yourself and putting yourself second because now you are afraid that if you prioritise yourself, you will have a storm to face.
Lashing out their bad day on you -
Say you just came home from a tiring workday or a happy day and your partner had a bad day, so instead of communicating that they are having a bad day, they start lashing out at you. They blame you for anything you do. This pattern is often visible in many relationships and is one of the major toxic traits.
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Demanding sex -
Them not having the mood of getting involved in sexual intimacy is understandable by you, but when it is the vice-versa, they don’t understand, instead of demand. They force you to have sex when you are not in the mood. Some statements like “I want sex now, that’s it” or “I am horny, just do me for a while even if you are not in the mood” are the toxic symbols of demanding sex and not valuing your mood and desire of not being intimate at the moment.
Not respecting your emotions -
If you are having a panic or an anxiety attack they just come to you and tell you to stop being dramatic, or have some balls, or stop being such a wuss — using slang, degrading your emotions and not validating your current state is one of the toxic traits. At such times it’s advisable to politely ask for some space, if they ain’t respecting and valuing your emotions, do not let them engage and mess up your mental state. Seek space and receive clarity by being with yourself for some time and convey to your partner that this kind of behaviour is not appreciated by you.
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Going MIA after an argument -
Conflicts are a part of every relationship. If your significant other is ghosting you after a conflict, leaving the home and choosing to not communicate at all for days, this is a major red flag. Communication is the key to every healthy relationship. And any relationship which doesn’t embrace conflict and communication should immediately be shunned at that moment. Nobody deserves to get ghosted especially after a conflict.
Making you feel dumb -
If you are less educated than your partner or have a different skill set than that of yours and they keep commenting “It’s so easy, do it”, “You are so dumb, you don’t understand the basics”, then run opposite from such relationships. Everybody has their own skills and they need not match with their partners. What you have may be missing in them and so on, but this doesn’t give any authority to your partner to label you dumb, or force you into learning things you ain’t interested about.
Draw healthy boundaries when you realise these toxic traits stated above. Every relationship needs to be worked upon, but when things just start interfering with your mental health, that’s when you cannot hold and control it. You got to let it go for the wellness of both. Try communicating with them about their behaviour and see if they work on it, if the pattern continues, then end it on a happy note. Remember to value yourself and not lose yourself in the process of loving your partner, for love is about uplifting yourself and not degrading.
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