Abuse Is Not OKAY! Here’s Is How To Get Out Of It.

We women may be adaptable but are not gullible. Abuse is NOT OKAY! It will never be. Don’t let yourself suffocate in the midst of a social dilemma. Help yourself as early as you can. Let’s be the modern rebellion as they have labeled us. It is time to take down the abuser. How?

How often are we told to let go of the things that have shattered us the most? We women can possibly sink the worst of secrets within us. How many times in a day do we let go of the subtle outrageous acts? Or maybe some not too subtly outraging acts too. Teased? Harassed? Abused?

Abuse can take different forms and can change over the course of time. It is not confined to Physical but can be Emotional or Financial too. Sometimes it can be domestic violence and sometimes form of a toxic relationship. However, more often than not, abuse can often start out as emotional abuse and later becomes physical.

Most of us have been there once in our lives or maybe more than that but we are not entitled to take it, we never were. Because Abuse is not Love, it isn’t! No one has the right to hurt you, manipulate you or control you. So f*ck the ones who ask you to swallow the blue pill. F*ck the ones who say it is okay. Abuse is not Love, it really isn’t!

An abusive relationship can make you feel trapped, lonely, sad, angry, shocked, afraid, confused and maybe ashamed, all at once. Worst cases, you may even feel that it is all your fault and can lead to self-destructive behavior too. No, honey… It’s NOT! No man ever has any right to hurt you, just the way you don’t.

You DESERVE to be in a safe, supportive and healthy relationship. If you feel that you have lost trust in your relationship or are facing other relationship problems, you can either take some relationship advice or get out of it at once. Go through the breakup phase, try casual dating but don’t settle for an abusive relationship. There will always be an option, a way out.

There are plenty of us who want to help you and what you to help others too. We often think there is no way out except living through it. We function perfectly well through it, at least for the world. It is time to not shatter in tears when you sit alone, it is time to talk. People care for you, they want you to be safe. Talk to your loved ones or someone you know nothing about but TALK for once!

If you are not sure whether you are being abused or not, try to read the signs of abuse. Don’t let yourself suffocate in the midst of a social dilemma. Help yourself as early as you can. We women may be adaptable but are not gullible. Abuse is NOT OKAY! It will never be. Let’s be the modern rebellion as they have labeled us. It is time to take down the abuser. How?

Here’s how -

If the abuse is getting severe with every passing day, I firmly suggest you file an FIR and take your safety into consideration. Filling an FIR is not as overwhelming as it may seem to you. I’ll walk you through it and this will answer everything you must know about an FIR. Here we go -

What is an FIR?

To start from scratch, FIR i.e First Information Report is a written document that is prepared by the police. It is to file an accredited report of information about a cognizable offense. The report goes by the name, is the information that reaches the police first in point of time. FIR can be lodged with the police by victim or someone on his/her behalf for a cognizable offense. Anyone can report a commission of an offense, orally or in writing. Even a telephonic message can be treated as an FIR.

Why is FIR important?

FIR is a crucial piece of document as it initiates the process of a criminal proceeding. Only after an FIR is filed with the police station, the police can initiate a case investigation.

Who can lodge an FIR?

A victim or anyone who thoroughly knows about the commission of an offense can file the FIR on the behalf of the victim. The victim need not necessarily has to file the complaint. Even the police, if he/she has witnessed the commission can file the FIR for the victim.

You can file an FIR if, -

* You can file an FIR if you are the victim against whom the offense was committed;

* You know everything about an offense that was committed;

* You have witnessed the offense that was committed.

What is the procedure of filing an FIR?

Section 154 of the Criminal Procedure Court prescribes the procedure of filing an FIR. AT any given moment, if the police get any information about a commission of a cognizable offense, it must be registered! Remember, Refusal to register an F.I.R. is against the Law.

Also, you can and must demand the police to read over the compliant that is taken down. Once the police officer records your complaint, you must sign the report after reading it once.

Cognizable Offence -

A cognizable offense is an offense in which police have the authority to arrest someone without a warrant and investigate the matter with or without the court’s permission or order.

Non-cognizable Offence -

Understanding legal jargon like Cognizable & Non-Cognizable offense. The non-cognizable offense is an offense in which the police officers have no authority to arrest anyone without a warrant. The police can’t investigate these offenses without having being permitted by the court even if you file the FIR in the following matters:

(i) In cases where the complaint does not seem serious in nature;

(ii) In cases where the officer believes that there isn’t ground to investigate.

However, in any case, the police officers must record their reasons for not registering your complaint or investigating your case. He must also inform you about the same u/s 157 of Criminal Procedure Code, 1973.

Make sure to always verify the report that is recorded by the police. Sign only when you read the entire report in detail. If you know someone who can’t read or write should give the thumb impression on the document only after being completely satisfied with the recorded report.

Also, always ask for a copy of your registered FIR. It is your right to get the FIR for free.

What should you mention in the FIR?

* You should primarily mention your name and your address;

* The time, date and location of the incident that you are reporting;

* All the facts of the incident, just as they occurred in real;

* Names and details of the person or people involved in the reporting incident;

* Mention every possible witness that can get credit to your registered complaint.

* You can also send your complaint in writing by post to the concerned Superintendent of Police. If your complaint seems rational to the Superintendent of Police, he/she can investigate your case or order for an investigation.

* You can also file a private complaint in the court having jurisdiction over the matter.

* Lastly, you can also register your complaint to the NHRC i.e. National Human Rights Commission or the SHRC i.e. State Human Rights Commission if the police seem to be biased or corrupt.

Things you should NOT do -

* NEVER EVER file a fake FIR or give any manipulated or wrong information to the police. You can be rightfully prosecuted under the law for misleading and tainting information for the police u/s 203 of The Indian Penal Code, 1860.

* NEVER distort or exaggerate any facts whatsoever.
* NEVER give our unclear or vague statements in your FIR.

What can you do if your FIR is not registered?

* In case the police deny to register your FIR, you can officers with higher accreditation like Superintendent of Police or Deputy Inspector General.

The laws are perfectly designed to protect, safeguard and empower the women of the country. They do not require any change, but their enforcement does. What our society lacks is a proper civic sense and proper enforcement of the laws. Once this is done, there certainly will be a change. So let’s educate ourselves until then! Click Here to learn about a few protective laws every woman must know about!

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Originally published at https://www.fuzia.com.