Fierce and gentle.
If I tell you that's how I describe a lioness, you’d be surprised, you’d even try to correct me saying “a carnivorous wild animal cannot be gentle, fierce is apt.”
You’d be right, for the most part. Lionesses are gentle. They are gentle towards their brood, towards others in their pride and in a way towards other species as well. They only hunt for food. So as contradictory as it may sound, fierce and gentle.
Another contradiction that might take you by surprise is “beauty with brains”. Or are you not surprised at all? You’ve heard this before haven’t you, maybe even been referred to as a beauty with brains or have yearned that people would not just look at you as a pretty face or a woman that was only built for a career but not for that cute dress.
All my life, I’ve heard the two terms being put together to describe a woman who meets society’s standards of beauty and society’s standard of intelligence followed with much surprise. Is it really that surprising if a woman is both beautiful and smart? Aren’t we all? Is our DNA somehow so selective that it can only bless you with one, beauty or brains.
If I had a dime for every single time someone said something offensive, or we just carried forward this notion without thought as conversation pieces, I’d be a millionaire. So I don’t take offense. Although, I can’t help but think about how this might affect us. Since the time we hit puberty we’ve had to make a choice, either beauty or brains, but somehow not both, because we’ve been made to believe those are contradictions.
This ideology is carried across wherever we go. If you look a certain way, you will do better in certain career paths as compared to others, or if you are incredibly intelligent, you may not have the love story of your dreams. We see it in the way female characters are portrayed in mainstream media. You put on a pair of glasses and you’re the girl next door with the books and grades and the woman with the mini skirt is the first one the guy notices. Complex human beings with layers and layers of beauty and intelligence are reduced to physical attributes of femininity. But what if she was both? What if she didn’t want either? What if emotional intelligence trumps beauty and brains for me as a woman? Or I have brains but want to pursue just my beauty and vice versa? It is entirely unto you.
The definition of both beauty and intelligence is constantly being challenged and ever-evolving, as I see it, into a more progressive and wholesome view, just like human beings should be. So don’t think of this as a choice. You want to wear that eyeliner to work but you’re worried that you’ll just be seen as another pretty face and not be taken seriously. Or you want to dress up because they guy you went out on a date with needs to see your feminine side. Sure!! You know where you are and you know best what you want from your life and you make that choice girl. But if you decide to do the exact opposite, don’t ever be scared or worried that you won't fit in. You are free to define yourself just the way you want and you’ll always find the right people to take notice.
Someone somewhere many years ago thought “beauty with brains” was a great way to define a human being, two words. Maybe it’s time we start defining it again. So the next time you hear someone say, “beauty with brains”, just respond with “yup, like all other human beings.”
Because we are all beautiful and guess what, if we didn’t have brains, we’d be dead!
So this week, we’re going to come up with our own definition of what it is to be a woman! Describe yourself in as many or as few words as you’d like, in the comment section below!!!
Originally published at https://www.fuzia.com.