Society has often disgraced women who have a broken hymen before marriage. But is a hymen really associated with virginity? Read this blog to find out.
I was quite young when I read an adapted version of Mahabharata. It had me confused. Not because it was the first time I had come to know about a woman who had gotten married to 5 men (let’s not go to the wish/consent part of the story), but because a sage had given her the boon to keep her virginity intact for every husband. Confused? So was I. Later, I got to know that her hymen would re-generate before moving on to a different husband. I did not need years of knowledge and the maturity of an adult to feel uncomfortable about this so-called ‘boon’ that was given to our female protagonist. Was it really a boon for ‘her’?
What is this Gargantuan virginity that they judge us women for? In simple words, we can define virginity as a condition where a person has never had sex. This is not an exclusive definition, but this is how we lay-persons understand it. What we never understand is the patriarchy in the concept. I will leave you a question to ponder over as you sleep tonight. In what context have you heard the term ‘virginity’? I bet it will never be an issue in the case of a man. Our society fusses over virginity — but a woman’s.
The concept of virginity is problematic — it is sexist; it is patriarchal and objectifies women; it is hypocritical; it does not consider the lived experiences of the non-heterosexual people; it dismisses other forms of sex that heterosexual people might be indulging in, but let us not discuss about these issues related with virginity today. Let us talk about the most ‘pure’ of all issues — the Hymen.
In many societies, the opening up or the breaking of Hymen is associated with losing virginity. You don’t need to study research papers on the topic; just watch a typical Indian TV drama series and you will understand this relationship between virginity and the hymen as the newly wedded daughter-in-law is disgraced when there are no traces of blood on her nuptial bed. Many cultures and religions associate virginity with an intact hymen and that is why I am writing this blog — to bust the most important myth related to the hymen.
Virginity has nothing to do with the hymen.
Yes, you read that right. Your hymen doesn’t decide if or not you are a virgin.
Strenuous exercise like horseback riding, cycling, swimming, etc, can break one’s hymen. It can also be broken by a sudden jerk or activity. While on the one hand, a ‘virgin’ can have her hymen broken, on the other, a sexually active woman can have her hymen intact. Many women have large enough holes/openings in their hymen and their sexual activity is not interrupted by it.
Shocked? Well, that is true.
So the next time when someone talks about how an intact hymen is the absolute sign of purity or ‘virginity’, throw some biology at their faces and tell them that they cannot be more wrong (because these people probably won’t understand the innate patriarchy and sexism involved. When history and social science cannot correct their misconceptions, then use Science and walk away to keep your peace of mind. Master Stroke!)
And if you are a conscientious human being and want to explain things to them (at your own risk), then maybe you can share this article on why we should ditch the concept of virginity by everyday feminism.
Since we are talking about sex and virginity, you should probably check out this article on the health benefits of female masturbation on www.fuzia.com
Oh, by the way, the only thing that definitely ‘breaks’, without a doubt, when you masturbate or have sex before marriage is patriarchy!
Originally published at https://www.fuzia.com.