It is high time that we stop celebrating motherhood solely for the sacrifices!
A Mother’s Day post is incomplete without the mention of the word ‘sacrifice’. But have we ever thought about what made her do it? The constant pressure from the family elders and the society forces them to give up on dreams, ambitions, and even the last bite of their food. All because she has to serve a higher purpose which is above her own identity as an individual. The society pedestalizes mothers up to the level of God for this sacrifice. This same society expects them to have a maternal instinct and shames the women who don’t exhibit it.
We live in a patriarchal society where the burden from child-bearing to child-rearing falls solely on women. So, what about the mothers who didn’t make that sacrifice? They decided not to give up on their careers and are doing their best trying to manage the household, kids, and the office. A role that is seldom given to the father because he is the supposed “breadwinner” of the family. The status of ‘provider’ exempts them from all household responsibilities, including those of the children. On the other hand, mothers spend their working hours worrying if the kids are doing okay. The responsibility has only increased with work-from-home. But she is glad that at least her kids are in front of their eyes and safe. For many women, it’s not even a choice. They are single mothers or are a part of the family where her husband’s income doesn’t suffice. These mothers are called selfish and are looked down upon.
We’ve romanticised these sacrifices to the point where they’ve become synonymous with motherhood. An article published in The Daily Star said that “The primary issue with overly romanticising these sacrifices is that it sets superlative and unreasonable standards that are almost impossible to meet all the time. This in turn ostracises many mothers who find themselves feeling insecure for not being able to score the ‘perfect parent’ tag.”
We have always been told of the sacrifices a woman should make in order to embrace her role as a mother. We have literally grown up watching our mothers do that since forever. They do not even ask for credit in return. Come rain or shine; they are ready to work at the first light. There are no sick days, vacations, or off days. It’s unpaid labor for which they are thanked only once a year. Women are taught and prepared for this from a very early age. But why should a mother’s or a woman’s worth be defined by the number of sacrifices she has made? By glorifying the sacrifices, we are indirectly celebrating her shattered dreams and everything else they had to give up for us. “The romanticisation of sacrifice is society’s way to make up for what it did to a woman’s life, and that is exactly why we need to stop the celebration.”
Mother’s Day is about celebrating the love and respect we have for our mothers. There’s more to this beautiful relationship besides sacrifice. It can take a backseat for a while. We need to tell our mothers that it’s okay to put themselves first sometimes, if not always. Their lives should go beyond their children and the confines of the household. Motherhood doesn’t define a woman; it is her own individuality as a person that does. They shouldn’t have to lose themselves in the quest of upholding the maternal values that the society has imposed on them. We should be grateful for who they are not only on Mother’s Day but every day.
Ask her to take time out for things she loves and bring her joy for once. She should be able to do them guilt-free. Celebrate the love you have for her instead of glorifying the sacrifices she has made. Remember, maybe this wasn’t her first choice. Try to help her in whatever way possible. Even a small step from your side can ease her burden and make her feel loved. Rather than posting thank you messages on social media, to which she may not even have access to, take time out to teach her how to use her phone without getting irritated.
Read Working from home or office, mothers are still taking care of us like they used to!
Like our content? Check out more such blogs here.
Join the Fuzia community today to connect with some like-minded individuals. Sign up here.
Image credits: freepik
Originally published at https://www.fuzia.com.