Say no to abuse. Here are the most common forms of toxic relationships!
We are probably the first generation in the country to have so much control over the relationships that we chose in our lives. Even about a decade ago friendships and marriages were more consequential than they were decisions. Just as much as this era has given us a lot of control over our lives, it has also given us the responsibility to be accountable for the relationships we entertain in our lives.
It is said that the people and relationships in our lives are probably the most important factor of our lives. The quality of our inner circle determines the quality of our lives a lot. The person we chose to love and be vulnerable with dictates how beautiful or ugly our lives can get.
One of the most trending discussions of this decade is toxic relationships. When you first heard this phrase, you certainly did not understand the impact of it. You probably thought of it as something that occurs to other people. Something that you are too smart to fall for. But with time and maturity, we realize that toxicity has less to do with smartness and more to do with conditioning.
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Toxic relationships are not limited to domestic abuses or dowry-related tortures. This perception is what makes us exclude ourselves when we try to understand toxicity. Everything from a parent who compares you to your siblings, parents who do not let you express your emotions freely, friends who make you feel guilty for growing and changing, and romantic partners who control your social life to cure their insecurity are all everyday examples of toxic relationships.
For any human being to feel safe and grow into the best version of themselves, the most important thing to do is to identify and abandon any toxic relationship that you might be a part of. For that here are some of the most common types of toxic relationships that you might want to keep a check on and what to about them-
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE- We talk so often about abuse and yet we understand so less of it. It is sometimes very difficult to spot abusive behavior especially if it is not physically evident. Abuse is not limited to physical torture, but you would be surprised to know the number of women as well as men who are physically abused in a relationship. This is not only because the victims are helpless and trapped, but mostly because they are conditioned to believe that abusive behavior can be an expression of love and the truth cannot be further away from this.
HUMILIATING AND DEMORALIZING BEHAVIOUR- One of the saddest things you can do to a person that trusts you is emotional betrayal. It is surprising how normal this has become. One of the easiest ways to evaluate a person and your relationship with them is to see if you feel insecure or uplifted around them. Does your partner tell you that you are not good enough? Do your parents tell your dreams are invalid and how you have disappointed them? Do you have friends who judge you and try to tell you that you look fat in certain clothes? We have all at least been in one relationship where all we wanted was for someone to accept us and all we got was the raging remarks about how we aren’t good enough. There. You have another toxic train to tick off in people around you.
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THE ENERGY DRAINING RELATIONSHIPS- Do you spend time with a person and feel extremely drained rather than feel lighter and happier? Do you have a friend that just bombards you with the minor most details about their boyfriend and tells you every single exhausting thought in their head? Friends, who take the benefit of friendship but hesitate to give it back? Friends who do not remember the important dates in your life but always call you to vent about their crushes not texting you? They take and take kind of friends. If you were thinking about a particular friend while reading this, you need to scratch that name off your list or at least sit them down to have a serious conversation.
RELATIONSHIPS THAT KEEP YOU FROM CHANGING AND GROWING- This is confusing and this is sad. Uncertainty is scary for everyone. We have all wanted our friends to stay the same so life remains the same and comfortable. But change is meant to be the only constant thing in life. For any amount of growth, some amount of change is important. The best way to see who your best friends are is to see how restrictive they are about you changing. The foundation for a good friendship is the space to grow and change. If your friends claim your time and make you feel guilty for wanting to be who you are meant to be, you might need to talk it out and set some boundaries.
Picture credit- Metro.com
“Your relationship with people around you is a direct consequence of your relationship with yourself.”
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Originally published at https://www.fuzia.com.