Should I know where I would be in 5 year’s time? Is It Okay If I Don’t?

I like to tag myself as a procrastinator, but there is one thing I did in time — plan my future.

It was the summer of 2017 when I tried to make a list of the things I wanted to achieve in this lifetime and divided those small goals according to age in three parts — things I would have done before I am 25, things I would have done by the time I turn 30, and things I would have done by the time I turn 35. I know that it is way too much of planning, especially for an under-confident person like me, but I wanted to have a plan or else, how would I know what I wanted from my life? I needed to make a life map; a map like you used to see while playing Candy Crush; a map to know how much I’d achieved and how much closer I was to my dream.

I was once told by my cousin that I needed a plan to have a successful life. He asked me if I knew which college I would be in, what subjects I would choose, which profession I would want to go in. I freaked out when I didn’t know the answers to these questions, but I felt motivated too. I was in my first year of graduation; I had changed streams; I had changed my dreams. If I could do that, I could do this too. It took me 4 months to get my bucket list prepared. And for the next 2.5 years, I worked hard and took every opportunity that came my way so that I could realize my dreams!

But things do not always go as planned. Of course, I am in my dream college today. But I saw this dream back in 2017.

I had different dreams in 2015. I was supposed to become a doctor and study in one of the most prestigious institutions of the country. But things happened, circumstances changed, and today, though I am in one of the most prestigious institutions of the country, I am not studying medicine; I am a Literature student now. People warned me that these two streams are poles apart, but I believe that art connects everything and there would be no world, without stories. Anyway, my point is that my five-year plan that I made in 2015 didn’t work out.

You ask me if you should know where you would be in 5 years. What if I tell you that this question should be left in the gray area between the two extremes of black and white?

● Yes, you should know what you want from your life in the next five years. You cannot grope in the dark. You need a goal in life.

● No, you don’t. Things do not always go as planned and if you have it in you, you will make the best of everything that comes your way.

By the way, who knew that 2020 would be such a difficult year? Nothing that is happening was ever planned by anyone. I was supposed to be on a trip to Hampi (Karnataka, India) with my best friend this very month. Ironically, I haven’t stepped out of my house in the last 5 months. As I am vigorously typing, I realize that though it is important to know what one wants to do in life, it is also okay to not know. I had not imagined that Fuzia would be such an important part of my life, I had not imagined that I would not even be talking to that friend who meant the world to me; I had not imagined living my life stuck inside my own house. But these things happened, and they happened for good.

I have written so much, but I still haven’t found the correct answer to the question you had asked me. I guess, in the plan or not, everything is okay as long as one is happy with themselves. Isn’t that the main goal of life, anyway?