We often talk about workplace sexism, but what about the one happening in our homes? Here are the ways the practice has become a part of our household.
Do your parents expect you to serve the guests while your brother slouches on the couch nearby? Do you also have a 7 PM curfew while your brother has none? Well, that’s sexism at play there, and it is deep-rooted in the psyche of heads of our household.
Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on sex and gender. It mainly affects women or girls where they are treated differently than their male counterparts.
From the moment we are born, our genders decide the way we are treated in our homes, schools, workplaces, and everywhere else. And needless to mention, women have been at the receiving end of this practice day in and day out. Believe it or not, our parents are the flag-bearers of this bias, which is a product of sexism.
Ways Sexism has Invaded Our Homes
1. Treating Boys and Girls Differently
The society we live in has set restrictive gender norms and stereotypes in place where men and women are treated differently in every sphere of life. It begins at home, where girls are assigned domestic chores such as cooking and cleaning, while boys are asked to either mow the lawn or wash the car. Most of the times, they are not given any task. This is also called a housework gender gap. In Indian households, it’s a necessity for girls to learn to cook, but no such responsibility is given to the boys. Our parents fail to understand that cooking is a life skill, not a gender role.
In many towns and villages, boys are sent to private schools for high-quality education, while girls are sent to government schools or not sent at all. This occurs in the same house. Your brother is free to come home at any time or even stay out all night, but you must return as soon as it gets dark. No matter how old we are, these curfews, for the sake of our “safety,” tell us women have to live their lives differently than men.
Sexism happens even when parents and relatives start hounding you for marriage and “to settle down,” whereas men are not subjected to such pressure. Because there is no biological clock ticking, they are free to make their own decision.
2. Not taking women’s opinions into consideration
Why do we even call it a “family meeting” when there are only male members speaking and asserting their opinions. How often are yours’ or even your mother’s opinions taken into account? The decisions of the father, aka “head of the family” are set in stone and can’t be challenged whatsoever. Even your brother, who is sometimes younger than you, is asked what he thinks about a certain topic. A family is supposed to solve problems and take decisions together, but in Indian households, this rarely happens.
This is not only sexism but patriarchy where the power and control are in the hands of men. There are fewer arguments when we accept the decision of the family’s head without question. Think about it. Is your family really happy and peaceful or is it so because nobody challenges your father’s decisions?
3. Not letting women work after marriage
Women are expected to give up on their career after marriage, a job they love and is the source of their financial independence. Most men don’t let their wives work thinking who will care for the family. And sometimes, it’s just their male ego not letting their wives become independent. Women, too, end up being a part of this sexism as mothers and mothers-in-law when they ask their daughters/daughters-in-law to give up on their dreams to take care of the family.
We never expect men to come back home tired and go straight to the kitchen to prepare dinner. That’s not normal now, is it? It’s 2021, and women can have it all, we say. A career and family life, simultaneously. But when it becomes hard for women to juggle both work and family, especially because the husband won’t help, they have to quit their jobs and stay home. With children, things only become harder, as it is considered a mother’s job to care for them.
There are numerous ways sexism exists in our homes and it has been there for decades now. We just didn’t stop it as we thought maybe that’s how things work. But to create a fair society, this has to stop. You can try to make your parents understand one step at a time and also teach your children to treat everyone equally.
Women are subjected to sexism at their workplaces almost every day. Read this blog to know how to identify sexism at your office.
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