What is deadnaming, and why should you avoid it?
What Is Deadnaming?
Deadnaming is intentionally or unintentionally referring to a transgender or a non-binary person by their former name. This means using the name before their transition, which they no longer use without their consent. For instance, last year actor Elliot Page announced that he is transgender and people shouldn’t use his former name to refer to him. It’s a dead name now.
It can happen in various situations. For instance, when some refer to a trans person by their former name during a conversation or in an email/message, etc. They might also be confronted by their former name on a government ID, birth certificates, etc. This happens because they are not able to change their name and gender on the official documents. They must make the changes legally, which is a long and difficult process that also necessitates gender transition documentation from a medical professional. The cost of the process is quite high, and some people may not want or require a gender transition.
A 2015 survey of transgender individuals in the United States revealed that only 11% of the respondents had their preferred name and gender on the IDs. 49% do not have any ID or records with their preferred name and 67% with no gender records. 35% couldn’t go through with the legal process as it was too expensive.
Why Is Deadnaming Harmful?
When you refer to a trans person by their birth name or former name, you are invalidating their gender identity. It can take a toll on their mental health as it dismisses the hard work and challenges they have faced coming to terms with their identity. For a trans person, changing their name is associated with enhanced emotional and mental wellness. Deadnaming can be emotionally hurtful, and it may send a message that you don’t see them as their true self. It may bring trauma and negative experiences to the surface. It can be disrespectful as you are projecting that you choose to see them as you want to which is not in alignment with their real gender identity.
Jade Peek, director of advocacy and community care at Kind Space, says, “The harm caused from [continuing to use a name someone has discarded] is that it already took that individual lots of courage, work, and energy in order to navigate their social experiences, their professional experiences, all different avenues of their life, in order to make it safe enough so that they can come out”. “And so when we deadname, we completely destroy the systems and mechanisms that those individuals who have come out have built in order to create an infrastructure of safety,” as quoted in the Flare.
When someone refuses to call them by their preferred names or pronouns, it is counted as transphobia and cissexism. It can also “out” the person, leading to harassment, violence, and sidelining them. The hate crimes against transgenders and the LGBTQ+ community are prevalent all over the world. You are putting their safety at risk by deadnaming them. It should be up to them to choose who they want to come out to and when.
The best way to avoid deadnaming is to get used to their new name. It may take a while, but by doing this, you will be acting as a supporter. Change their contact name on your phone and use it in your conversations referring to them.
What To Do If You Deadname Someone?
There may be times when you accidentally deadname a person or use the wrong pronouns for them. It can be unintentional, but it should be avoided at all costs. If this happens, acknowledge your mistake as soon as you realize it and apologize to the person. Correct your mistake and use their right name after. Move on from it right away and try not to discuss it further. It might be uncomfortable for the person.
Do not dwell on your mistake by expressing how difficult it is for you to adjust to their new name. It is inappropriate, and the person who has already been deadnamed by you should not have to console you for your own transgression. You’ll have to get over it and not make the error again.
By addressing people by their correct names and pronouns, you are proving yourself to be their ally. You are also giving them the respect they have the right to.
It’s time to make our workplaces more LGBTQ+ inclusive to show we really support them. Read this blog here to know-how. You can also check out our other blogs on the website.
Join the Fuzia community today to connect with some like-minded people. Sign up here.
Image credits: freepik
Originally published at https://www.fuzia.com.